lol, i dropped out of school about three weeks ago. i was failing and i didn't make a single friend (literally) and instead of having shitty grades on my transcript i opted to withdraw before any records would show up.

i still have the option of going back if i want, i delayed my scholarship or whatever but truthfully i don't know if i'll go back.

so i'm trying to figure out what the fuck i'm going to do with my life and it's just all one big mess.

i'm also incredibly lonely. it really bothers me when people say they have no friends... but then they're like, oh, going to a movie with __________! i mean i guess i understand that people still feel alone despite the fact that they have people to keep them company, it's just that... i truly truly have nobody, not even people to pretend i'm friends with, and it's sad and pathetic.

i don't even have internet friends anymore. lol my life

i've always been a person who has thought that suicide was so stupid, because i figured that things would always get better.

only now i don't know if that is true. i really don't have any hope anymore.